We Always Return

My year with the Institute for the Psychology of Eating (IPE) has come to a close. I am filled with gratitude and wonder and I am left with a beautiful container from which to grow my practice. I now posses a new language to better communicate topics around nutrition and nourishment.

I am in awe of Marc David, his wisdom, authenticity, vulnerability and the unconditional love he brings to his work and the field of eating psychology. I am blessed to be one of eighteen who came together this year to blossom into our gifts and become the first certified Dynamic Eating Psychology Counselors. I cherish the intimate connections I have made.

Part of me hates the long, drawn-out sappy goodbyes. I much prefer to pull it off like a band-aid. And part of me loves the sappy goodbyes, like my secret affair with cheesy, romance movies. Although, I don’t feel like this is a goodbye; I feel it as a beginning, quite possibly the most significant beginning this far in my 29 years. I have been a student since I was 3 years old, and the years I took off from formal education, I spent studying the soil and how plants grow and how food can be the magic that brings a community together. That led me to an amazing graduate program in nutrition that filled me up with nutrition science, clinical experience and an exploration of the environmental, political and cultural components that shape what we eat. I was still hungry and my search for the missing piece of the nutrition puzzle led me into the nourishing arms of IPE. I’m sure I will be a student, in some form, forever. I have a long list of nutrition and garden-related courses I want to take and certifications I want to put behind my name.

But for now, I chose to be still. I chose to transition from student to teacher and offer my medicine to my community.

I will always be a nutrition science geek, wanting to understand the latest research, the physiological mechanisms and making connections between how nutrients cycle in the environment and how they cycle in our bodies. I will maintain my focus on clinical nutrition, real food, and the simple, practical ways to live in congruence with nature, by gardening, cooking and fermenting. But now I have a bigger context from which to do my work and I have new skills to execute this vision.

In addition to working with clients around the “what to eat’” piece of nutrition, I am confident in working with the missing piece of “how to eat” and exploring who we are as eaters. What we bring to the table is as important as what is on the table. We, in the nutrition world, can talk in circles about vitamin D, omega-3s, antioxidant pathways, amino acid precursors and any star nutrient of the moment. But sometimes this conversation doesn’t mean much without the conversations about Pleasure, Relaxation, Time, Desire, Relationship, Power, Truth and Love. We are soulful creatures and true healing flourishes in both realms: bodymind and soul.

This has also been a year of personal journey. I’ve learned to relax with myself more and love myself more. I’ve begun to practice loving what is, which is no small feat, but can bring big results. I’ve become clear about what is important in my personal life, like being close to family, and my professional life, like practicing from my truth and not selling-out when the financial landscape gets rocky. In fact, it seems my personal and professional selves are meshing more and more.

My own relationship to food is changing because of the work I’ve been doing with IPE. I feel so much more connected to my body and what it needs from moment-to-moment. I have am deeply aware of the subtle energies that different foods create in my body. I feel more in tune with body wisdom and I am empowered by the choice that listening to this wisdom provides. I’ve started grocery shopping with my gut, instead of my brain or a list and my cooking has become much more intuitive and creative. And beyond the deepening relationship I have with my gut, I’m learning to digest with my heart as well.

This year has had ups and downs, darkness and light, powerful insights and been kissed with the Divine.

So, to my new Boulder family, I will certainly miss our once a month retreats, but If I’ve learned anything, and I’ve learned so much, it is that: evolution is now, love heals, and we always return.